This week’s Manifest Monday really hits home for me (no pun intended, but you catch my drift). I spent my entire childhood wishing to be elsewhere–wanting to be back in California. Once I got to California, I wished only to be back in the midwest. I felt guilty that I left my family, especially through some tough times (that inevitably happen to everyone). Once I graduated super early, I was back in the midwest… but now a part of my heart belonged to San Diego, and I missed my pseudo family there. I craved adventure. Adventure led me to New York City. Then, guess what? I missed the midwest again.
Now, after a couple of years back in the midwest, I am slowly realizing that it isn’t WHERE you are that matters. Sure, travel and adventure are necessary for someone like me. But it’s this mindset. You need to shift your mindset to what you view “home” as. I realized home was where I felt comfortable with people. Home was the people. It wasn’t the place. It was the people and the experiences. And I can finally own that I love my Kansas City home. Well, this list is the things that FEEL like home. I hope you can take in these list items and really start to envision your idea of home.
Running around barefoot
The smell of jasmine
My twin sister and my little brother.
My puppy, Kali Merian. I also think furry creatures in general feel like home.
Songs from the 90s. Namely, “500 Miles” by The Proclaimers. (Hello Budweiser, GOOD JOB!)
Salty sea air. Squishing my toes in wet sand. Chilly air beaches. (Northern Cal style, of course!)
Curling up in my twin bed from childhood. You know, since it’s still the bed I sleep in.
Churros at Disneyland. Yeah, that’s a childhood thing. But it feels like home. Deal with it.
Long road trips. I–of course–prefer the kind where I could lay down across the floor of the car. I’m too big for that now, and there’s no minivan to accommodate. (Wait, that admission doesn’t get anyone in trouble, does it?)
Airplanes. I know they’re a big sign of transition and often people view them as the OPPOSITE of home, but I have flown HOME to my FAMILY and to what I KNOW so often, that it’s comforting. (I consider Kansas City, Sacramento/Woodland, and San Diego homes, by the way. New York is pretty close up there too. I have invested my heart and my time in these cities for prolonged amounts of time. They will always be a part of me.)
My purple and yellow reversible sheet blanket that mom made for Erin and I when we were like, 4.
Disney movies. The ones released when I was a kid. Because, duh.
Tuna gulosh. Hells yes.
Apple-y things during Autumn. It reminds me of trips to Apple Hill growing up in California. Such happiness in my tummy.
The smell of a crisp, spring day at the beginning of the season. It smells like several places I’ve lived, and to experience it in so many places is so comforting to me.
Dancing. All of the music I grew up with, honestly. But dancing with my family. They’re so amazing. We aren’t known for our dance skills (besides my awesome brother, of course), but we have fun.
Craft supplies… craft stores… embossers, stamps, scrapbook paper. So. Much. Home.
Red doors. Like our big, roasted pepper front door since I was 8 years old.
Any time I see Billy Blanks. Or hear his name. It’s not often, but Tae Bo will always remind me of moving to Missouri and sharing tapes with my aunt.
Malls and mall walkers… shit. Same thing. When we moved here, we used to walk the local mall in the early mornings with my mom and aunt. Looking back, we should have continued to do that throughout childhood. (Can you say “chunk”?) I mean, unnecessary pints of ice cream are also awesome. (Thanks, boyfriend!)
I think I get it now. Besides the obvious–there are subtle reasons I really enjoy the band Hanson. They were becoming big when we moved to Kansas City from Northern California. I was looking for comfort. We had a good year for really cheesy music, and that’s the band that really hooked me. Then I didn’t love them for a long time. But when they came back, it was just so familiar. It was comforting. Their lyrics, their faces. Now I get it. They’re like a mobile home. 🙂
Yogurt. I used to carry yogurt and eat it as a snack in the cul-de-sac as a kid, in both Northern Cal and KC. IDK. I feel like a kid when I eat it.
Most of this is so nostalgic. There’s too much. I like seeing the consistencies throughout all of my homes, and the way small things and shifts in what’s around me make me feel. It’s really phenomenal, if I’m being honest. Home. It’s everywhere.