Rich People Fist Fights

Have you ever been involved in a fist fight?

I have, but that’s not the point I’m making here. (That’s right. Anyone messes with my family again, remember that I’m loyal. And I dare anyone else to jump me. I DARE YOU.) The point I’m trying to make is that I was saved from getting hit by a random fist on Sunday. My boss friend saved me.

My boss friend who has taken me to concerts, started Rock ‘N Paw (and let me in on the ground floor of it), took me to play with puppies during a lunch hour, lets me watch her puppy when she’s away, and feeds me. My boss friend who took me to eat on my birthday so that I would feel special (24 years of sharing is awesome, but also sometimes not).

Well, this boss friend and I decided to go to Miranda Lambert on Sunday. So I drove out to Bonner Springs and met her for a couple drinks at Jazz Louisiana Kitchen before the show. We went through will call hell at Cricket Wireless Amphiteatre (surprise!) and finally got our tickets.

Which were in the pit. Not complaining.

We walked around a bit, got a beer, and were asked if we were related. This is NOT a diss. If someone thinks I look like her, massive compliment! But I don’t. We wandered down to the pit area (Where they had to ask me three times to punch my ticket–apparently I am going deaf.) and stood out around the crowd. The opener was not our cup of tea. I don’t even know his name. Go figure.

While another opener was playing on an auxiliary stage (Jukebox Mafia.. which has Josh Hoge in it. I hadn’t heard of them, but I had DEFINITELY heard of him.), I was facing Chris and she just said, “Fight” and stepped aside, cool as a cucumber. Um… WHAT? So I spun around (Basically a 360, ha! Get it, Erin?) and stood against the barrier while a ton of men came hurdling in our direction. One guy was being held off by security, while another man was struggling with two security guys. Then three security guys. It had to be five guys before he was even taken down, and even then it was a struggle and there were other people with hands on him.

**While all of this was happening, Chris and I observed another security guard try to jump the waist-height barrier to help out, and he got caught and totally ate it on the concrete. This was hilarious. We didn’t make fun of him. To his face.

When we were able to fully see the big man’s face, his eye was swollen shut… and his eyeball was absolutely, positively sliding out of its socket. It was still inside the skin, but about down to his cheek. It was repulsive. The other guy, who security had let go? Not a scratch. So of course the woman with the big, detained man was complaining about how the other guy did it. Then when security grabbed him for questioning, his girlfriend (or other random girl with bandanna and boots) was saying HE didn’t do anything.

Of course all of this happened in the pit area. With the rich people.

Moral of the story? Don’t get rich people drunk. Ever. Just never, ever, ever.

The show was actually really awesome. Miranda is super cute, her set was fun (Disco balls AND chandeliers?!) and the whole thing put me in a really good mood. Plus, there was Jimmy John’s awaiting us at the exit.

Thanks, boss friend!


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