But… I wouldn’t do that.

Pictured above: Two of the culprits. Their names are Betsy and Zac. 

Alright, guys. You all thought the last few were heavy blog topics? Try the one they had lined up for today! I’m supposed to think of–and write about–a time when I thought of ending my own life.

I am actually happy I do not have a tangible answer to this one.

Sure, we were all little emo freaks as kids. We all had our acting up moments and “WHY ME?!” scenarios, but I never wanted to end my life. I even joke about (but am actually serious) the fact that I am way too full of myself to do anything to harm myself. But, now that I think of that, I will tell you one small anecdote to support the fact that I would never harm myself…

When I was in college (during my senior semester), I lived in Mission Beach, feet from the sand. I happened to have a very good situation going for me. I had three amazing roommates (shout out to the twin, Betsy, and Zac!), and we were all dorks who liked hanging out at home way too often. So one night, the underaged craziness ensued and we decided to try and finish off a giant jug of Carlo Rossi wine between the four of us.

Bad idea.

We all decided to call it a night early with maybe 2 or 3 glasses of wine left in the bottle. We really, truly couldn’t help that we couldn’t handle our liquor. And I went upstairs and fell into bed. Well, kids, there is this thing called “the spins”. And boy did I have them! I was a mess. So I decided to go to the bathroom and throw up.

I must have been in that bathroom trying to make myself gag for 40 minutes or more. Drunk people always tend to exaggerate, but I bet my sister will vouch for me. After a while, she called out to me, “Need help in there?” That was so funny because I was TRYING to make myself sick and I couldn’t do it… and Erin clearly wanted to hurt me (Or make me shut up. Or both.).

Case in point? It never worked. I can’t make myself sick, so bulimia is out of the question. (I even spelled it wrong the first time I drafted this.) As is ending my life. But September 10th is National Suicide Prevention Day, and I was in an anti-bullying campaign. (See below.)

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