Are you drunk? You’re all over the place!

Last Thursday was a downer day. And that’s an understatement. I woke up to look into my bank account to see what kind of money I would have after my trip to Boston. But I couldn’t go to Boston because my bank account had fraud on it. Why couldn’t I go to Boston? Because I belong to a bank that doesn’t exist in Manhattan. I had to cancel my debit card, I have to dispute the charges, and I don’t get a new card until my parents send it out to me. If you can find a bus company that takes checks, I will paint my body orange and wear a blue wig. Yes, I will be an Oompa Loompa just for you!

So my plans for Boston were shattered. My money situation wasn’t a situation (it doesn’t exist?). So I drank tea. And sat on the couch. And watched movies. Like, ALLL day. I watched the end of “Bridget Jones’s Diary” and some other mush that was on TV. I also did some vinyl record crafts and just relaxed. It was a mush day, and I was plenty okay with that!

Jess went to Boston Thursday night. She and Alvi are definitely back together.

______________

Friday!! I woke up EARLY (alone) and walked over to see Demi Lovato perform at the Good Morning America stage. I know what you might be thinking… Why did she go see Demi?  Well, I will tell you this: I saw her three times before that (twice when she opened for the Jonas Brothers, and once on the Camp Rock tour). This doesn’t HELP my credibility necessarily, but A) It was a free concert and B) I really do think she has quite a powerful voice. So I didn’t mind! I stood through the whole thing, which wasn’t unbearable… and we sang “Happy Birthday” to some random guy from GMA. I was standing about two feet from all of those shenanigans, so it was pretty awesome. But Demi DID live “up” to my impression of her “personality”. “I will be back guys. To put on a real performance. Because I didn’t have shorts on underneath my skirt and I don’t want my butt to show.”

Yeah.

So I walked home. It was really effin’ hot, so speed walking was like a workout. When I breathed in, the liquid in the air just clogged all of my breathing passages. I know you know the feeling. It was disgusting. So I was happy when I got home and saw that no one was home. I belted out “Fix a Heart” for awhile… about 70% was on pitch, so I was quite happy with myself. I made a breakfast smoothie and danced around. Did some jumping jacks. When I was done, I wanted to lay down for a bit so I went into my room and sat on my couch/bed. Almost immediately, I got a text from Michael saying his friend had spent the night and was in his room sleeping. 

Shit.

His friend must have texted him and told him how ridiculous I sounded. And he must have figured out I didn’t know I was entertaining company. Whoops! I’d like to say I felt really embarrassed, but not so much. I just fell asleep.

When I woke up, I decided it was time to see ALL of “Bridget Jones’s Diary”. Can you believe it? I am a GIRL and I have only caught snippets of it every time it’s on TV! So, I watched it. And then I watched the second one. I sat through TWO movies FULL of British accents, and was only about 27% disturbed! WOW! Now THAT’S progress!

I had more tea. I watched some TV. I texted my mom. A lot. And it wasn’t just one topic. It was a lot of random things. To the point where she said: “Are you drunk? You’re all over the place!”  Dear Mom, do you know who I am? Any small ounce of caffeine (tea that day) makes me borderline psychotic. Where have you been my entire life? I might have a case for child services to take Ian away based on that statement alone. 🙂

Ari talked me into Happy Hour. I put a box of mac n cheese on the stove for Michael and I to consume when I got back, and by 7 I was walking to the train down to the East Village to meet her and her friends at Bua. On my way to the station, I was randomly followed down the street with a video camera in my face. I didn’t contest it, but I did keep a straight face until they stopped following me. They’re lucky. They got footage of an up-and-coming celebrity! It had been 6 months since I saw her friends, but it felt like I had just seen them! We caught up, and the mixture of not so much food consumed that day and the heat made me almost regret the amount of alcohol that they kept handing to me. Don’t worry, mom. I DID have some salmon/honey/cucumber bruschetta. But we ended up at 4 different bars (I only consumed at 3), and had jolly fun! My new friend Will took a photo of me. I mean mugged him, so he put cats on me on some app. That was random to him, but the implications of that particular shenanigan might ring a bell for a good chunk of my friends and family. Woof. Ari sent my mom some text messages about how she would take care of me, and she did. Mom, Ari loves you.

I made sure to get on the subway before midnight because my 30-day pass was expiring that day, and I had no $$ to replace it. YAY ME! 

I got home and Michael had eaten all of the mac n cheese. So I ate some Cheez-Its. And slept.

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