“Unfortunately, woman with no top, I have no words for you…”

“… And no. I don’t want a photo with you.”

Yup. That’s how Monday started. I got off the train and was walked on Broadway between 14th and 13th when I saw a crowd of people clustered together. They were taking photos of a girl with no shirt (or anything else on top) on. She was saying, “Yeah I did my research.” Ok. Good for you. But I still don’t want to see that. Dammit, NYC.

I also had a random man tell me that I could be a modern day Mary Poppins if I had a hat on that day. I was wearing my black military crop jacket, a floral dress, and my black boots. Because I’m sassy.

That day at work was also filled with a lot of bass. Someone was recording in the studio upstairs, so the bass guitar was jamming and vibrating my office walls. And then there was a meeting in the conference room and they were playing rap music with ridiculous amounts of bass. The only other highlight of work that day was when my coworker was on the phone and said, “Well, what does John Mayer have to say about that?”

Umm, ok.

Is it sad that I am going by my Twitter posts to remember what happened on Monday? It’s only Thursday. This whole not remembering things thing is kinda not cool.

Tuesday. I was walking to work and got stopped by some Aussies (even though I had my sunglasses on and was borderline RUNNING through Union Square) who asked me where Trader Joe’s was. “Excuse me, ma’am?” No answer. Just ploughing through the crowds. “Excuse me, MA’AM?” “Yes?” It didn’t make sense that they were stopping me, out of EVERYONE out and about at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning, but maybe it’s that stupid “approachable” look I have. I gave them exact directions to my good friend Trader Joe’s and kept on my merry way to work.

At work, I was asked what music I listen to. I froze. I mean, really?  So, I said, “The three Matt’s… Parachute… I DON’T KNOW!” It’s so funny because those aren’t even my favorites. And I had to EXPLAIN the three Matt’s thing. And then I said Glassjaw and got my ass handed to me by Gaby. And by that I just mean she hates Glassjaw. So my list of favorite bands ended there, and I am still a mystery. Right?

Aidan came by and got his apartment keys (I was holding them for ransom, dammit!) and then pedaled away on his bike to a volleyball game. I wish I had the energy to be as active as Alex and Aidan!

On my way to the subway, I called my sister. She was babysitting little Elaina, so Elaina spoke to me. Apparently they had JUST been talking about me when I called *it must be that weird, twin telepathy thing* because they had seen the Geico commercial with the gecko walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. “Meredith lives there.” “Does she walk across dat bridge? Does she smile?” — “Oh, does she gotta drive home?” “No, she’s gotta fly home.” “Oh she needs ta get wings? Who gives her wings?”

Yup. I was born wit dem wings.

I wanted to bake cookies for my office, but Brendan is vegan. So I went to the store to find a vegan substitute for eggs, and called my mom to get some help. “That’s so weird we were just talking about you! I just asked your dad if he had heard from his daughter and you started to call!” *it must be that weird, mom telepathy thing* I called my dad when I got home and he gave me the run-down on what he and my mom thought about the Rock of Ages movie (Hint: Not good. Failure from the Broadway show. Sorry.) I was so focused on making vegan cookies that I forgot Mikey is allergic to chocolate, and only made chocolate chip cookies. I am a failure at life, but in two weeks I will bring in cakies and all will be forgiven (Except when Brendan can’t have them because he’s vegan. Give me a BREAK here, people!).

I made the cookies and ate some chicken nuggets with Jess. We drank red wine and then she decided she wanted more, so we went on a walk. I got to speak with Michelle on the phone while we walked (How lucky am I? 4 amazing phone calls in one day!). Unfortunately, it was a direct result of her text to me about how I am Robin (How I Met Your Mother fans, you understand my frustration here!), but it became a conversation with Jess asking me questions to ask Michelle because she had already asked me and didn’t like the answers. It also was one of those “Hang on, Meredith. Watch Jackson while I run into this shop. And this shop. And this shop” things. And THEN it became one of those I’m on the phone, holding a dog’s leash, and people on the street are trying to talk to me. They’re asking me questions about this dog that I don’t have the answers to and still they prod while I am CLEARLY holding a phone to one ear and trying to carry on a conversation things.

Michelle thought it was funny that I was even pretending to care about the dog to these random strangers, and said her ears couldn’t take it anymore. We hung up. Then Jess and I saw Michael at the bus stop on our way back to the apartment, made faces at him, and walked on. She had bought me pizza, so I ate it. Then I ate half of some sort of cream-filled donut thing (I hate them, but she made me!).

That was a binge night if there ever was one.


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